ed note: Sean Andros wrote this article during a sleepless night that ended in a morning ambulance trip to the Emergency Room of New Island Hospital. It turns out his gall bladder doesn't wanna be a part of his future bodybuilding endeavors.
Sets and reps; carbs, fats, and protein; drying out; carbing up; these are the details of contest preparation that 
everyone talks about and dwells upon. All this information is a quick Google away and if that isn't good enough you can email my boss: He is the best in the business and for a very small fee he will walk you through every step of the process. But there is another side to competing and its one that no one ever speaks about and few ever take the time to realize, much less understand. The mental struggle and the journey to the stage that consumes the competitor and everyone is his (or her) life. The day to day feelings, moods, and actions touch everyone around you and if you fail to take account of that, you will end up alone very quickly. Winning is a great thing, but sharing an accomplishment with the people that love you is a beautiful thing.
I looked into the crowd on Saturday and saw my family. My mother and father don't give a shit about bodybuilding and they never will, but they have never missed a single show and if I got on stage in China I'm sure they'd find a way to be there. They don't understand the intricacies of the sport and they don't care to or need to, but they sat in the crowd surrounded by a bunch of people they met only that day and people that loved their son as much as they do. Validation for the job they did to raise me....they must have done something right for all of these amazing people to care so much.
My oldest brother and his beautiful daughter (I'm her godfather) sat through the entire boring day and I think they enjoyed every second of it. She was at my first show 6 years ago....before the age of 1. I was told later that night she sat at the night show and said: "Am I going to get the big trophy again?"
I've got another older brother who wasn't there. We haven't had much contact over the past few years, but he emailed me good luck the night before the show and congratulations the day after. He took me to my first gym when I was 14, paid for my membership, and taught me how to train. He showed me how to act in the gym, how to be respectful, and what it means to really train. He also taught me a lot of other things and I am grateful for them all. I doubt our relationship will ever be the same, but he always be my big bro and he made me the gym rat I will be to the day I die.
My boss, mentor, housemate, and big-brother saw the whole process from beginning to end. He supported me with flexibility at work, but so much more as a friend. I kept most of my freak outs in the privacy of his house and all it took was a walk upstairs to get the reality check I needed.
A now dear friend and once ex-girlfriend actually fought with me because she couldn't find a way to be there enough. Of about 10,000 fights, no one meant more and better expressed our connection.
Another friend managed her busy schedule and made it there for the night show, but she had already done so much more. Some days you need a new face, a new set of ears, and new outlook and whenever I called she would show up on the treadmill next to me and listen. Or at least read and pretend to listen and then argue whatever it was I complained about. I came to realize that she was facing her own struggles and I think maybe those cardio sessions were therapeutic for both of us. But when someone picks you up at 3:30am for cardio before you go to the Arnold, she's definitely shown heart.
My training partners, best friends, and often therapists have been in my life for not even a year and we've formed a bond that will last a lifetime. While one sat in the crowd in near tears (to the delight of everyone around the big meathead), the other doted on me for every minute of the day. For four months they listened to me complain, watched me hit the highest highs and lowest lows, and never once failed to be there when I needed them. Morning or night, I was never alone. It didn't take long for me to see this and it pushed me to a new level. I fought through anything my body or mind felt to push them just like they pushed me. They wanted to be about me and I just wanted it be about us. In the end it was all those things and nothing made me happier then to see the number of people that recognized how truly amazing they were. Friends, co-workers, family, and even Big Dave couldn't help but be touched by how generous these two guys were. In those 16 weeks they helped me to be a better bodybuilder, but they showed me how to be a true friend and a better man.
Last and definitely not least, someone walked into my life but 10 days before the show and gave every bit of her heart and energy to my success. Food was cooked before I knew I needed it; she headed to the gym twice a day and did cardio that should have been the last thing on her mind; she even shaved my back! (It was either her or Dave so thank God she stepped up to the plate). As the final week wore on, sleep was hard to come by and she sat next to me and watched a lot of mindless TV and bad movies. All the while screaming at me if the fridge door opened too many times. She even went through every one of my cabinets after I had a little breakdown (or two) the weekend before the show. The thing about it was, she just did these things without being asked and definitely without it ever being expected. She showed me the most giving heart I'd ever seen besides my mommy and I couldn't help but sit back and be amazed. I think I spent more energy trying to stop her from doing things for me then if I had done them myself. And while I napped or did something resembling my job, she even cleaned out Dave's pantry and made him some amazing meals. And she wasn't here to help me or help him; she came here for a little vacation and just couldn't help but take care of the two fools in this house. And she puts on one hell of a tan.
What I found last Saturday on stage was not just a trophy. It wasn't validation as a bodybuilder and simple pride in my appearance; I found validation as a man and way I try to lead my life. That trophy I got doesn't belong in my little apartment - it should be cut up in a lot of little pieces and given to everyone that supported me (or rather dealt with me) in some form and at some time leading up to that one shining moment. I paced through my hotel room that night and looked out over the most beautiful city on earth and I discovered my victory and relished it. Hours after my hand was raised on stage I realized what I accomplished: After 28 years I'd finally surrounded myself with the right people and I finally managed to touch them and give them my true friendship. The love and support they returned to me was nothing short of exceptional and in that I found victory and validation in my journey.
For any competitor that took the time to read this, take a minute to reflect on your own journey to the stage. You've all got similar people and stories in your life and I hope there is some part that of this you can relate to. Challenge yourself to diet strictly, train intensely, hit the cardio diligently, and most of all never let any of those personal goals diminish your ability to love and cherish the people in your life. Bodybuilding is a personal goal and it is never an excuse to be selfish. If it becomes about you and only you; then it's only you that will be backstage when you're all done.
