I was sitting near the front row at the XYZ Pro Show and I couldn't help but hear the familiar rant of a popular so-called "diet guru" behind me yelling in his unmistakable accent. "Oh, yes, he look very good! Very ripped... What his name?"
Some photographer answered his question and supplied the name. Next, this guru starts yelling out the guy's name- a competitor he doesn't even know - and begins instructing him from the crowd as if it's HIS client! "Yes!! That it... blow out!! Oh yes, you look great!.... Squeeze the legs... Yes, that it!!"
During a post-contest interview backstage, after the darkhorse competitor won the contest, the interviewer asks, "Who helped you prepare for this show?" The winner replied, "I did my own contest prep!"
This didn't stop the boisterous guru from picking up a few new clients in the audience, however. To the unsuspecting athlete sitting in the audience, it appeared as though this said guru prepped the winner. I mean, he was yelling posing instructions and cheering him on, wasn't he?
Back in the host hotel, the slick guru is holding court with his new charge. "You do how much cardio?" he asks.
"2 hours a day. It's the only way I can get shredded glutes."
"Oh no, you do much less cardio with me", says the guru. "You eat lots of carb too. Only way to keep muscle! You like?"
Of course the bodybuilder likes carbs! Unfortunately they don't like him and he tells the guru.
"Oh no," says the guru. "You no worry. I take good care of you. You eat lots of carb and you do less cardio and I get you ripped! You have colitis? No problem, I take good care.... I no give cookie cutter diet. All individual... I work with you. You win show like all my client win show."
Well, that sounds good. All his clients win shows! That must mean I'm going to win too! Or so the aspiring bodybuilder thinks. And he goes off stuffing his face with rice and potatoes, all the while only doing 20 minutes of cardio a day. And guess what happens? At six weeks out from the show, the bodybuilder looks like he swallowed a Volkswagen. "Ah, you no worry," says the guru. "I take good care of you. You take these pills, two in the morning and two at night. You see, you get ripped."
And the desperate bodybuilder takes hold of the plastic baggie half-full of bright yellow capsules that are unidentifiable to him. "What are they?" he asks.
"Oh, you no worry... I take good care of you! You have heart problem? You no worry. I no give cookie cutter diet. I take good care of you. You listen to me. You win show. You no listen, I not so sure you win."
But the bodybuilder wants to know what the pills are. "You no worry... I not give you anything bad. This secret. You want everybody to know? You take pills, no worry."
So, what does our behind-schedule, fat ass, over crabbed, bodybuilder do? That's right he takes the pills! And what are they? Well, DNP of course! DNP? This guy is giving his unsuspecting client DNP? Why not just make him do more cardio and eat less carbs? There's no glamour in that, is there? So, the jovial, full-of-shit, guru forces his clients to take a confirmed poison to lose the fat they can't lose because he's a self-serving guru, and he insists that his charges eat carbs and do almost no cardio!
Now, I'm the last guy to put down DNP. It certainly does work. But, you have to be careful. There is a 
lethal dose for DNP and it's very close to the effective dose. It saps your energy by diverting potential ATP into heat so you feel drained when you take it. There is also evidence that it's hard on the kidneys. It can cook your insides. The shit can kill you! And the only reason this guru is going to suggest that his clients take it is because he thinks it's better to eat more carbs and do less cardio? Says who, a self-serving magazine owner waving a study? I distinctly remember Dan Duchaine telling me that DNP would eventually be abused by so-called diet gurus who couldn't get their charges in shape. He said that DNP would become the magic pill of the contest prep trade. It would make idiots into saviors; the unscrupulous, unflappable; the ill-prepared, polished. And he was right.
The really sad thing is that this guru I'm talking about is for real. He actually does manipulate the audience around him into thinking that the most in-shape competitors are his, even if he didn't train the guy or girl. He's louder than he has to be so that we can all hear that whoever is winning is his guy (even if it isn't). He even yells pointers from the crowd, just like a real coach would! This is all done to sell the poor, wide-eyed, guy who might be in attendance looking for an answer. An answer than includes being told he can eat carbs and do less cardio - just what he wants to hear! I know former clients of this guy, so I know what he does. All I can say is that there are better, safer, and more ethical ways to get a competitor on stage. And the "cookie cutter diet?" That's his mantra, "I no give you cookie cutter diet." I have news for you; all diets are cookie cutter and they are all free online. You don't pay a diet coach for a diet, you pay him to "coach" you to the stage. You pay for his eye and his judgment and his ability to see the end-result well before you step on stage. You pay for his experience. You pay for the peace of mind in knowing the guy advising you has done this before and has had great success. And, most importantly, you pay for the safety built into his protocol.
No one is averse to taking a pill in this biz and this guru dispenses the magic one. So what if it can kill you? So what if he's full of shit? All that matters is that you pay him and, on contest day, you look ready. Can this approach win shows? Of course it can. Is it the best way to go about it? I'd rather suffer on the stair climber and eat no carbs. If I'm doing all that and I'm still off-schedule, then yeah, I'll take the pill. I'll do it knowing full- well what it is and the proper precautions. But I won't take it unless I really need it. The truth is, if I'm doing everything right. I won't need it - neither will you. And trust me when I tell you, no one needs this bloated loud-mouthed guru either.
The next time you're at a big show, listen carefully. You'll hear him. You'll catch his act. And you'll be smart to stay well clear of him. Even if you have colitis, allergies to gluten, heart trouble, or any other limiting ailment that poses a challenge to getting into shape. Someone out there is far better qualified to take care of you!
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