My plane just lifted off the tarmac in Florida en rout to Chicago; the first leg of my circuitous rout to Mexico. I'll be taking no less than three flights today, because the Jewbacca gene in me just couldn't pass up the el cheapo air fare I got for stopping in an extra city. I figured since I'll be gone almost three months that I could forgive a little travel time. I mean, I did save 83 bucks a ticket!
Not a lot of money to you big steppers, huh? Romano is so fucking cheap he'd go through the ordeal of taking an entire extra flight just to save 166 measly bucks. I know what you hate-urs are saying. Well, you can all kiss my cheap ass. That 83 bucks a ticket translates to almost 30 Sustanon preloads I might be purchasing at the farmacia the minute I land. That could get me through most of the trip down in bodybuilder paradise if I were to take one every other day. Hmmmm... a gram of test a week. Should I?
Okay, so if I'm doing that, what else might I be taking? The conjecture among radio listeners who wrote in questions for me to answer when I did Off Topic- the last radio program I did prior to my exodus - was that I was going down to Mexico to get really jacked (I'm also supposed to be evading anal rape charges in Florida, funneling elicit millions for Species out of the country, and hiding from Derek Anthony's mafia hit men). Ughhhh.... The imagination of some people. I must admit I did toy with the idea of doing some insane juice stack as sort of a last hurrah before my impending 50th birthday, but decided against it.... Then I thought a little more.
I realized I'll be in the perfect bodybuilding environment for the next 12 weeks. That's a perfect amount of time to really make some changes that have eluded me over the last year because of all the stresses I've been dealing with (you know, the anal rape charges, what to do with the gobs of cash Dave is raking in, and of course the mafia pistoleros). I did say on Off Topic that I have nothing left to prove to myself and that I would probably be going easy on the gear. But, a funny thing happened while I was counting out how many bottles of growth to take down with me (Can you believe I have to smuggle GH into Mexico? By some odd twist of logic GH is way cheaper in the US - $2.75/IU vs $8.00/IU!!). I was figuring how many bottles I'd need to bring at my prescribed dose of 2 IU/day and for some reason I packed enough for 3 IU/day. Hmmmmmm....... Why did I do that? Then I figured, if I take the weekends off, I have enough for 4 IU/day!
So, conceivably, I could be doing up to one Sustanon preload every other day and 4 IU of GH per day/5 days a week. If that were the case, I might as well add 500 mgs or so of Primo or EQ a week into the mix, right? I mean, why not? I can get all the EQ I need for the whole 12 weeks at the vet for less than I saved on one of my tickets! I just got my blood work back and I'm A-Okay, so why not? I may change my mind in the morning, but so far that's how I'm thinking. I'll keep you posted.
Now, all that gear isn't going to do shit unless all the other vastly more important elements exist. So far the plan is this: No stress. I'll be staying on the 27th floor, right on the beach, with a full time maid six days a week. She also cooks. So, no house work, a killer view, and no scrounging for meals every three hours. That right there is worth two or three pounds of muscle over the course of a year. I have a very well-equipped gym next to the pool, so I figured I'd wake up, hit the GH and head downstairs to do an hour of cardio on an empty stomach. I'll then climb the 27 flights back up and have the keto breakfast that will be waiting for me. Then get a little work done on line, while I take in another two or three meals, then walk the six blocks over to Gold's where I still have a lifetime membership. I'll bang out a body part or two, go back home, eat and spend the rest of the afternoon on the beach.
My smoke'n hot, highly trained, girlfriend with the killer body will be joining me for four of those weeks before she goes back to law school in the fall. I'll have the perfect training partner as well as the perfect person upon which to ply the fruits of all that extra test I'm thinking I might want to have on board, thus further relieving stress, not to mention inciting the numerous beneficial cascades such activity is known to produce.
Naturally, there will be my ubiquitous jealous hate-urs who are going to talk all kinds of smack about me doing all that juice and still looking like shit. But the reality is they'd saw off one of their raisin-sized nuts to be me for the next 12 weeks. No matter how much juice I might do, I'm not going to come back looking like Ronnie Coleman, but if I did partake of all that Mexico has to offer the bodybuilder I'd sure come back better than I am today. And isn't that really the point? Fuck the haters. The whole basis behind this thing we do is that you have to keep all the elements in place. To be honest, I'm more thrilled about the fact that I will be availed to good, fresh, clean food; a couple of very well-equipped gyms; a beautiful stress-free environment that I'm going to share with my amazing girlfriend and my son with nothing to worry about but training, resting and eating, writing and having some fun. Sure, it's nice to be able to call up the pharmacy and have my gear delivered and pay for it with my credit card - you'd think in a country such as America, where "freedom" was the cornerstone of our nation's birth, that one wouldn't have to travel to a third world country to do that. But the gear is not really primary reason. . . it's just part of a bigger picture that should help me look and feel good for my impending half-century mark, as well as provide lots of commentary that I'll be sharing with you in tons of articles and videos you'll find here, exclusively, on RX Muscle.
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