A Journey Beyond Bad Circumstances
What limits do we have? We still don't know yet. I believe what we're truly capable of has not even come close to discovery. Throughout history, time and time again, people have risen up despite tremendous adversity and whether in a small or big way, have pushed the limits of what's possible and have inspired countless people to follow their examples. Some say our lives are predetermined and others believe we choose the path we wish to take. In either circumstance the people who persevere through these obstacles never cease to astound me. In the case of IFBB Figure Pro Ann Titone, not only did she beat the odds, but she conquered them to achieve greatness.
Ann, along with 44 of her friends, had just begun her senior year at Grandview High School in the small town of Ware, Missouri.
The Accident:
Ann doesn't remember much of anything about that day, or the two and a half weeks that followed it. She was told that she got in her car and started driving to school. It was about 7:00am and she was alone driving the same route she took every day in the 86 Dodge Diplomat that her parents had bought her. She knows she was in a wreck, she knows there was another vehicle, and she knows the other driver was killed.
Ann woke from her coma two and a half weeks after that day so badly mangled that she couldn't move. She was in a hospital bed, in traction, with tubes running into and out of her battered body doing the tedious yet critical job of keeping her alive. Above her bed, a glowing monitor gave the reassuring news that this beautiful young woman that everyone loved was still courageously fighting for her life.
The story of what happened was pieced together for her by others. It had rained the night before and it was cold so tire traction could have been a factor. The other driver was a 26 year old male that had a reputation for being a partier and was seen the night before drinking alcohol at a party. He was also not wearing his seatbelt and was pronounced dead on the scene. Ann had been traveling down a long stretch of highway and coming into a long lazy left hand curve. She assumed she may have been going a little fast as she usually did, but doesn't have any recollection of the day. The other vehicle was already into the curve coming toward her. Somehow they collided head on.
When Ann didn't show up in school her friends called her uncle and then he called her parents. Her very concerned father started driving the route he knew she took to school each day and came upon the scene of the crash. He immediately recognized her car then in the same horrific moment, he saw a body on the ground covered with a sheet.
He coasted to a stop and going through a hurricane of emotions from absolute terror, to relief, to absolute terror again, he discovered that his little girl was not under the blanket but was being frantically cut from the steaming hulk of crushed and twisted metal with the Jaws of Life. She had been wearing her seat belt and survived the impact but had suffered a compound fracture of her left femur. The broken femur was driven up through her quadriceps muscle and out through her hip so that her kneecap was sitting about half way up her thigh while the jagged femur bone was jutting out of her hip. She had a dislocated left hip and a fractured right hip. The right side of her jaw was broken and the left side was dislocated. She had 3 broken ribs and a punctured lung on the right side. Her spleen had been lacerated. Her face had several lacerations and contusions. After being cut from the wreck and because she lived an hour outside the city, she was transported by emergency paramedic helicopter to the St. Louis University Hospital Trauma unit.
She was in critical condition when she arrived. There was no immediate surgery, as they were attempting to stabilize her condition. Apparently, she had lost approximately 4 pints of blood and her bones were bleeding. Ann's mom says that it was several days before they did any type of surgery. Once her parents arrived in the emergency room, they were able to see her for about an hour. She had a 5 inch laceration on her right elbow that wasn't even stitched and her body was so badly swollen and bruised that it was difficult to recognize her. At this point she was already in a comma. After a very brief visit, the Dr's quickly ushered her parents into a little room where the priest joined them to inform them she probably would not make it through the night. The first surgery that was performed was an open reduction internal fixation to her femur. The surgeon inserted a rod into the center of the bone. This rod helped support the bone until it healed. There is also a plate placed next to her bone that was attached by screws to a frame outside her leg.
Ann recalls being told that once he left the scene her dad went to his parents house and like any father would, he completely broke down.
"He drove over to my grandparents' house and knocked on the door, he couldn't even talk, he was crying so much He couldn't even explain it. When he calmed down they went and got my mom from work. At first he played it down, acted like they were going away for the weekend. Then when she got in the car he told her what had happened. I don't talk to my mom and dad about it. I can't even remember the last time that we ever discussed it at all."
The Emotional Scars:
In what would be viewed by those with experience investigating motor vehicle accidents as potentially questionable policies and procedures, the local police conducted their investigation and were unable to recreate the incident from the evidence at the scene and therefore determine the exact cause of the crash. Armed with very few facts they made an easy assumption. They told Ann that because she was the younger and less experienced driver it was probably her fault. No charges were laid, obviously due to a lack of any evidence to support them but their determination would have been enough for the insurance company and the police to conclude the matter. With what seems to be little thought on the impact their unsubstantiated words would have on the young woman. It appears like the police department and insurance company both needed to determine fault just so they could close the matter. Rather than do the work and spend the money to find the correct answer for certain, they settled for putting the moral responsibility on Ann because she was the easy target. A young female driver, a stereotype. Whatever she went through to rehabilitate her body and get back to living her life again was a feather compared to the weight of the scars and guilt that she has carried internally ever since the crash.
"It was very difficult at 17 years old to deal with his death and I still have lingering effects from it. I have anxiety issues. For seven years after the accident I couldn't talk about it. All my emotions were turned inward and everything was shown through anger."
Her mother tried to get her some help, "My mom wanted me to go to counseling and I wouldn't go, I wasn't going to talk to someone who tells me they know me better than I do."
Ann still can't cry about it and while she has grown accustomed to the emotional scars, they have never healed.
Healing Herself:
During the duration of time from the accident through the 6 months following, she has only flashes of moments that she can recall. She does not rememeber St. Louis University Hospital at all, however, she doe's recall being transported from the hospital to St Mary's Rehabilitation Center for her physical, occupational and speech therapy. The physical therapy was required for obvious reasons. The impact of the car accident resulted in a severe head trauma that required extensive speech and occupational therapy. It was two and a half months of intense rehab and physical therapy before she was finally released and able to go back to school. When she did, the welcome was beyond anything she could imagine.
"The first day back to school I was on crutches. I went to a very small school so everybody knew about it. Everyone at my school was absolutely phenomenal with me, they helped me with hospital bills, no fingers pointed, I was very accepted. While I was in hospital they had collected funds and bought me my class ring and they presented it to me. They had balloons and a big banner that said welcome back. I had missed two and a half months of school but they helped me catch up with my credits so I could graduate with my class. It was a great feeling to know that I was missed."
Life had almost returned to what normal was going to be but there was still some unfinished business that had consumed Ann's soul. She needed to know more about the young man that was killed in the crash and she had some things she needed to say to him.
"It was an obsession for me. I learned his name, he wasn't married, and he didn't have children. He partied a lot, and I found out he was partying the night before the accident."
Ann felt many things toward the young man that was killed in the wreck that morning, some anger for not wearing a seatbelt, some deep sorrow, and regret at his life having ended when he was so young. She wrote him a long letter and in it she shared all of her feelings. In March 1994, 6 months after his death, she visited his grave and read the letter to him.
"I found out to where he was buried. I went to his grave site. I had written him a very long letter and I read it to him. I had heard he didn't have his seat belt on and I had to ask him why he wasn't wearing it. I don't know what happened or why it happened, I believe it all happens for a reason and I feel we have a purpose. It was an apology letter, asking for forgiveness. I did feel better after I read it to him. It was almost like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I read it to him and left it there at his grave by the headstone. I was never contacted to his family."
The Physical Scars:
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I have scars all over my body. I have always dealt with that, even with competing, so having them and being where I am has made me a stronger person inside. It makes me feel good that I can inspire someone else that is struggling through something."
In November of 2009 right after competing in the Kentucky Pro Figure Championships she had surgery to repair the scar on her hip and now it's barely visible.
"It's given me a huge boost of confidence. I have always been very self-conscious about that scar. People would always ask what happened. I think it looks great now."
Moving Forward:
Ann hopes that her story will touch and inspire others in some way to endure whatever lies formidably in front of them.
"First and foremost, don't ever take for granted one second of your life. Even during the difficult times, be thankful you are alive and breathing. Remember that no matter how bad your times are, someone else is dealing with something 10 times as harsh. Bob Dylan says it best "A day above ground is a good day".
Secondly, and probably the most obvious, don't let someone tell you something is impossible. I have tremendous Faith and Trust in the Lord and know.....
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
Keeping the past buried has been her way of putting it behind her but as her words reveal, not that far behind.
"It's been so many years since I have even thought about it. I'd like to believe he is in a better place, he was so young. I just like to think he is in a better place and whether I need to be forgiven or not, I hope that I am."
Now Ann competes as an IFBB Figure Pro and helps other competitors prepare to hit the stage and accomplish their dreams. Ann along with her husband Jack run a competitive team called the Jacked Up Divas, which gives Ann the opportunity to continue to inspire others and share her knowledge of diet, posing and exercise. She and her husband also host a weekly radio show called The Fit Bod Talk Show on Siouxcountry.com and promote two IFBB Pro events a year. Ann is currently prepping for The IFBB Optimum Pro Classic on May 21, 2011 in Shreveport, LA. With all the beauty and grace she portrays on and off stage she will always hold a special place in the hearts of those that know and love her.
Contact Ann Titone:
Website:www.anntitone.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fitgirltitone
The Jacked Up Divas: http://www.fitnessamerica.biz/
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