Exclusive Interview With Alisha Neville: Unbreakable
The name diamond is derived from an ancient Gre
ek word meaning “Unbreakable”. Diamonds are known for their beauty, rarity, and for being one of the strongest and hardest natural materials on the plant. One of the things that make them so rare and so unique, is the way they’re formed deep within the Earth’s crust under unbelievably high pressure over the course of billions years. The process itself isn’t pretty or glamorous, but it is necessary in order to provide the world displays of unparalleled beauty. Often times it’s the toughest moments in our lives, the moments of seemingly insurmountable pressure, that bring out the best in us. These moments change us at our core, and in some cases, they make us Unbreakable. In the case of MHP Athlete and fitness powerhouse Alisha Neville, that’s exactly what happened. Faced with enormous pressure, Alisha used those moments to transform her life. She recently sat down to talk with me, and to share her story with the Rx Muscle community, about how she transformed into an Unbreakable beauty.
Q.) Before we get into your story, let's give those who may be unfamiliar with you some insight on how you arrived at this point. You're currently a trainer, MHP athlete, one of the stars of the LFL's Philadelphia Passion, and most importantly, mom. When did you first become interested in weight training and athletics?
A.) In 2003-04 I was pregnant with my son and living next to an amazing park with great trails for running. Every morning I would run a few miles in the park before my daughter and husband woke. I found it to be a great way to begin my day, have a little solitude and quiet time to think, pray and make plans. The consistency of my runs and eventual swimming, made delivering in August 2004 really easy (I actually said "I could do that again" minutes after having an 8.15lbs baby boy). I noticed right away that Ethan was strong enough to hold his head up before leaving the hospital. I am quite sure it was due to all of my activity while pregnant. Fast-forward to 2007 when the world as I knew it - crashed. My husband and I separated and began the process of divorcing and dividing our lives. As things got stressful I turned back to the early morning runs that had helped bring me peace and calm a few years earlier. Shortly afterwards, a trainer at my gym suggested I get certified to train others as I clearly enjoyed the work I was doing myself. He was right, and in 2008 I became an AAAI/ISMA certified personal trainer. I spent the next year working at a big box gym helping people lose weight, gain strength and learn to properly use the equipment. I wasn’t a rep-counting trainer by any means, but I had so much to learn about true strength, health and living well.
In 2009 I left the big box and joined Christian Ho-Won Lee and his training team at Merizo Personal Training in Cherry Hill, NJ. For the first time in a long time I felt as though someone believed enough in me to take me under their wing and teach me. This is where my education and passion for training really began to develop. Christian allowed me to shadow him and his team until I gained the experience and confidence to step out on my own. As we worked together we realized creating significant changes in our clients wouldn’t be possible with the methods and the facility we were in. In April 2011 we began looking for a new place to train. We found that in Medford, NJ in an abandoned hotdog/ice cream store. In a few short months the building was completely refitted into a personal training st
udio and semi-private gym. We recruited some of the best trainers in South Jersey to join us and officially opened our doors in September 2011. Since then we have added RKC (Russian Kettlebell Challenge) and Strong First instructors, FMS (Functional Movement Systems) specialists, Primal Move® teachers, a great yoga program, AeroSling, along with Olympic and Rogue Fitness lifting equipment. We call it ESCAPE Fitness because it is everything possible and nothing typical in training.
Q.) For those who aren't familiar with your YouTube videos, your training style can be described in one word, relentless. How did you develop such a unique training style? Is this something you've always done, or has it evolved over time?
A.) In 2007 I was “going to the gym” simply to “stay in shape” and I was content maintaining my weight, not trying to “bulk up” or “get too big” from lifting too heavy. As many of my clients realize now, having no goals and just “going to the gym” doesn’t cut it for long. Shortly after hitting a plateau in my progress and not being able to seeing any changes, I met Moses Correa who was a personal trainer and boxing instructor and I decided to try boxing. The intensity was incredibly addictive and soon training became more fun the more I pushed myself. Watching my body change, my resting heart –rate plummet, my muscle tone improve and my energy level sky-rocket was motivation enough for me. I couldn’t wait to get certified myself and share this experience with others.
The intensity has always been inside me but when I decided to compete in the Philadelphia Women’s Triathlon it grew exponentially. There has been some evolution in my style over time, but being passionate about my work is something my parents instilled in me a long time ago. I love pushing the limits and being daring in my training. From Kettlebells and battling ropes, to suspension training and now functional movement systems with Primal Moves® I will try almost everything. Strangely enough, my experience with yoga has proved to be one of the more challenging and fun methods of training for me. My yoga instructor, Carrie Swayze, is absolutely amazing. She once said of my abilities, “it is rare to find such strength and flexibility combined” and I’m most proud of this because it reflects beautifully my journey in life. The strength of my character and flexibility of my mind and spirit has intensified and improved even more than my physique.
Q.) Although you don't compete onstage, you still sport a competition ready physique. What type of nutritional 
strategies to you use to help sculpt and mold your physique?
A.) I have found that nutrition is easier to manage if you keep it simple. I follow the same guideline as I share with my clients: Shop the outside perimeter of your supermarket (where the fresh produce, meat, some dairy, whole and non-processed foods are) and eat whole foods. I keep away from the “5 whites” (most dairy, refined sugar, white flour/rice, salt and pork) and after that it is a numbers games. The only other principle I follow is “Contribution or Contamination”, you can’t do both at the same time. This philosophy applies to diet and life in general 100% of the time. You are either contributing to the health and wellness of your body (and your family) or you’re contaminating it. You decide.
Q.) Being an LFL athlete comes with a number of stereotypes and preconceived notions. In your opinion, what would you say is the biggest misconception about the LFL?
A.) I believe the biggest misconception about the LFL is that it is “girly” in a timid, Barbie, “don’t break a nail” kind of way. The only thing “girly” about the entire league is the fact that the players are girls. These girls are athletes, well trained, committed to each other, excited about playing a game for fans, and they hit. Hard! I know because I got a shoulder to the face in a practice from one of the girls once and decided that I liked the fact that she was on my team!
Q.) Ultimately there are going to be people who look at the LFL and think that it's demeaning, or that it's a negative representation of women? What would your response be to those people?
A.) I think this is an important question as it begs other questions – Why? Or how? How is it demeaning to women? These ladies have been given the opportunity to play in a predominately male sport, and to demonstrate their skills as a team of highly trained individual athletes, and they’ve run with this opportunity! It’s the athletes that changed the name of the league from Lingerie to LEGENDS. They show up for practice and put the pads on over their heads just like the guys. Rather than tearing them down (especially by other women) we should be celebrating their bravery, their tenacity and their beauty. These girls are amazingly gifted and step up to the challenge every time they gear up. Ultimately it doesn’t matter what others think. Whenever you attempt to do something great you will be faced with opposition equal to the feat you are attempting. Try being a single mom. Is that demeaning to woman as well because it isn’t “traditional”?
Q.) In 2007 you went through a very tough divorce that pushed you to the limit mentally, physically, and emotionally. How were you able to piece your life back together after having your foundation shaken so abruptly?
A.) Training. Mental stamina is a by-product of tenacious training. That’s what worked for me. I couldn’t believe I was watching my world crumble. And, when it happened, I fall back to what I knew. The major benefit of training through Primal Moves (or any other intense program) is the creativity and mental adaptations it allows you to maneuver through. Difficulties and struggles in life are exactly the same as physical struggles. You find strength and determination inside yourself to strive, push up, pull-up and breathe again. Piecing my life back together implies that it was broken to begin with. The elements got shuffled for sure, but nothing broke. Families are like eggs. They sometimes stay whole. Sometimes they crack. Once it’s been cracked you now have options – scramble, fry or soft boil. It’s still an egg. My mom taught me to “do the next thing” which means to keep moving forward and do the best you know how to do with the gifts and talents you’ve been blessed with.
Q.) Could you talk about some of the emotional challenges you faced during this tough time. How were you able to overcome it?
A.) My emotions were all over the field. I would ask myself question like: Am I doing the right thing? Am I losing my mind? Will my kids be ok? Is this really happening? Why is this happening? Am I a good mom? Was I good wife? It was awful. On one hand I felt a huge sense of relief and power. On the other hand I was also scared to d
eath. My solace came when I realized that who I am was greater than what I was going through. Being sure of ME made the circumstances surmountable. I realized there was nothing wrong with being vulnerable, and I gave myself permission to feel the heartache and grieve over the loss I was experiencing. “Overcoming” happens every day that I don’t let my past define who I am or what I will become.
Q.) Was it difficult to stay a strong reassuring presence to your kids during a time in your life where you needed reassurance yourself?
A.) Absolutely. A strong front can keep you from feeling and dealing with the reality of pain, and it can lead people to believe you’re fine when you really need help. I never wanted to appear weak, but inside I felt as though I was being crushed. There were times when I had to write notes that reminded me to hug my kids because my emotions/spirits were so drained.
Q.) One of the most challenging new obstacles you were faced with was the reality of being a single parent. Did you struggle initially trying to find a balance between work, home, and managing a new life on your own?
A.) There were so many things out of whack in my life. I was fortunate enough to have been a stay-at-home-mom and hadn’t finished my degree so that we could raise a family first. Everything changed, and it was scary at first. Having two kids to provide for kept me from crawling into bed and staying there. Work became a necessity. We put ourselves on a schedule to keep the house in order and everyone (my kids) had to pitch in and help. Money and schedules were tight. When we moved to a smaller place, my daughter was very u
pset. I jokingly told her it was our “half-way house”: Half-way between what we just left, which we loved, and half-way to where we will be, which we will love.
Q.) How valuable was the role your family and extended family played during this period of your life?
A.) Having moved away from our families after I got married, I wasn’t particularly close to my immediate family during the most stressful time. Very soon after I was able to reconnect with them and they are extremely supportive even though they live more than four hours from me. My children and I have developed a strong and extensive network of friends here in New Jersey. They have filled in and come alongside us with as much love and support as my family in New York would’ve.
Q.) This period of your life essentially served as a catalyst to propel you to where you are now. What role did exercise play in helping you through the healing process?
A.) I wouldn’t say it was the divorce as much as it was the necessity to re-establish a foundation on my own that allowed me flexibility to care for my kids. Physical fitness and heavy lifting served as the outlet for stress and frustrations during the process of re-creating my life. Healing came with long quiet runs outside where I could collect my thoughts and pray. Training for me is more than just physical fitness. It’s also essential for emotional well being and spiritual restoration.
Q.) As your physique began to transform, so did your life. How is it that you ultimately came to be involved in the fitness industry?
A.) I was unsure exactly how to break into the fitness industry. Fortunately, one of the trainers I had been working with had an extensive network which he introduced me to. Once some of the connections were establish, my love of helping people get excited about fitness and being healthy takes over. I try to see each network opportunity as a chance to change a life and inspire others.
Q.) Given the demands of your busy schedule, how are you able to juggle family and career while still managing to make time for your training?
A.) Everyone has time or more accurately, makes time, for the things they love. Certainly there are weeks when the juggling takes a toll on me and my kids. Good scheduling and a clear plan for the upcoming week keep managing my life a little simpler. I have designed my schedule to take care of my kids first, accommodating their lives and activities. I am blessed to have a flexible training schedule and some of the best training facilities and coaches within ten miles of travel. The truth is sometimes I just say “NO” to the extras. There are lunch dates, mall trips, nail and hair appointments, events with friends and happy hours that I choose not to attend/clutter my life with. My focus is establishing myself as a powerhouse in the fitness industry, and that takes a great deal of work. The sacrifices I am making now are to ensure a greater future for myself and my children.
Q.) What's the message that you'd like other women to take away from your story?
A.) Be strong and flexible in your mind, body and soul. You will not break, you will not fail, you will not falter. Be honest about where you are. Point A is just as important as point B. We rarely get what we want in life. Rather, you get what you are! Be great by expecting more from yourself. Choose everyday to RISE ABOVE the circumstances you find yourself in. People are watching to see how deal with problems yourself, don’t let them down. Inspire them and bring them up. Life may deal the cards but I play
them because I will not give my power and strength to another. Life moves on and you’ll want to be there and be ready for what comes next.
Q.) Is there anyone you'd like to thank for helping you along the way?
A.) No one rises to the top without a great support system and the encouragement or inspiration of others. I have been encouraged, supported and helped by too many people to name.
My mom - From a very young age I watched my mom overcome struggles and obstacles in her life while remaining gracious and steady for her family. She is my greatest inspiration. When she told me to “do the next thing” I didn’t realize how powerful that would be for my future.
My children – They really are awesome and worth getting up every day and doing what I do. They have witnessed the sacrificing and struggles and still believe in family no matter how scrambled, cracked or sunny-side-up we are.
My Rock Star clients – They fire me up, fuel my passion and rise to the challenges I put before them. Rock Stars are my special clients who started out learning, and ended up teaching. They have grown into their own fitness powerhouses and continue to be amazing and accomplished by shaping up and showing off. I love them dearly.
Christian Ho-won Lee – He first saw my raw talent and the need for its development. Christian allowed me to make mistakes, learn from them and be better every day. His lessons professionally carried over into my personal life where he encouraged me to run towards those things that are truly important, the relationships developed with people. To be great in this profession you must know what it is that your clients want, need and value. And deliver just that through great service.
Rick Arturo - Rick taught me the principal of “Rise Above” and continues to be a major supporter.
Roe Person – A fellow MHP athlete, Roe is a huge supporter of “everything Alisha”. Ro has pushed me hard as a trainer and connected me to a phenomenal professional network. Through many of my most trying times (personally and professionally) Roe has remained above all, a great friend.
LFL & Philadelphia Passion – For the opportunity to play and have fun again.
7Deuce Sports – Tra Thomas and his amazing crew at 7DS: For drilling me with the skills and techniques needed to be competitive and make the Philadelphia Passion proud to have me play for them. It was their strength and conditioning classes that prepared the athlete in me to perform well.
Alisha put it best when she said “We rarely get what we want in life”. We do our best to plan and try to control the things around us but, the truth is, the only thing we really can count on is that things won’t go according to plan. We’re going to have hard times, we’re going to have the odds stacked against us, we’re going to be faced with high pressure situations that make it seem like the weight of the world is bearing down on us. In these situations we only have two options; either we crumble and succumb to the pressure, or we allow the pressure to turn us into diamonds. We allow it to make us Unbreakable.
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