London England: The Journey to the British Grand Prix with Extreme Nutrition: Part 1
Better late than never? Please forgive me on the tardiness of the article. I've had a very hectic travel schedule lately and between bookings, I've gotten right back on a plane to visit my mom who has cancer, so I haven't had much down time lately.
Great Britain has castles; red double decker buses, the Queen and Led Zepplin...but they don't have The Arnold Fitness Expo...until now.
Sort of.
A couple of bodybuilders decided to promote their version and called it the British Grand Prix this year. I was invited over by my old Scottish friends Doug & Jo who own Extreme Nutrition.
Day 1: Louisville to London- (Tuesday) My boobs were ‘randomly selected' for additional TSA screening. It never ends.
I'm huge fan of "location appropriate literature" (reading books whose stories take place in the same city you're visiting) so I picked up ‘Incendiary' for my flight to London. I couldn't sleep on the way over due to arriving late that night and not wanting to screw up my shot at not being jet lagged. But DAMN. If you don't sleep on an international flight, it's FUCKING boring. There was nothing but bread and dairy on this flight and I was so hungry...yep, I ate it all. They served PIZZA...the savory smell permeated the entire flight cabin! So, I called it a cheat day. Got another wicked nosebleed on the plane that I'd soon find out would continue for 5 weeks. I'd never gotten the surgery I'd needed to fix my septum from an in ring accident a few years ago and have had nothing but breathing and bleeding problems since. I hate feeling like a leper/coke whore in public. Thank you, Melissa.
Day 1.5: London-Swindon- I was picked up by Jo, who drove like a bat out of hell two hours away to Swindon where she lived. I'd be staying there with her and Dougie until the convention over the weekend. The tourist website happily boasted that Swindon was home to one of the craziest round-abouts in the country AND "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" actress Billie Piper. That's about it. Well, hell. I love Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Good enough for me.
Day 2: Bath- So much for trying to avoid jet lag. I'm whooped. I wandered downstairs to check out the fridge...Scottish bangers (sausages) and haggis. Wow. You can take the Scot out of Scotland, but you can't take the Scotland out of the Scot. Meh. I mixed a protein shake and decided to go back to bed.
Jo sounds like a female Sean Connery. "Nae. I was just sitting there..."
Which sounded like, "Nae (Translation: No).I was joost Shit-TIN there..."
She'd planned for us to go to visit Bath. I'd always wanted to go from back when an ex-boyfriend (ahem!) promised me, but he never took me. His loss.
Bath was awesome. The town was gorgeous, all stone walls and castles with Roman style baths. The hot springs are the only one in 
England and were discovered by King Bladud (father of King Lear), the 9th Kind of the Britons in 863 BC. They became the center of much wonder and speculation. Young Prince Bladad had caught leprosy and was banished from court to look after the pigs. The pigs had gotten leprosy too, but after wallowing in the mud from the hot springs, had been cured. Bladud followed their example and was also cured. (Then Big Pharma & politicians came along, made it illegal to use the curing baths, and tried to sell the people an overpriced prescription of a watered-down version of the muds in order to be cured of leprosy that would keep them just-sick-enough for a few years so they could extract as much gold and sheep from them as possible until they were homeless. Just kidding. This wasn't America in 2005!) When he became King, he founded the city of Bath which became the Druid center. In reality it is not known exactly when the health giving qualities of Bath springs were first noticed. They were certainly known to the Romans who built a temple there around 50 AD. The temple was dedicated to Sul, a Celtic god and Minerva the Roman goddess of healing and called "Aquae Sulis". This was Roman Britain (by 47 A.D. the Romans had defeated the Celts) and the baths were pure Roman architecture.
It's staggering me how ancient handmade architecture has survived thousands of years through wars, weather, wear and tear... but houses these days fall apart after just a few years. There was a sign posted to not touch the waters...so naturally, I did. Very warm.
As an American with only a short few hundred year's history to explore, with our big deals include Valley Forge and old mining towns in Nevada, I found it fascinating to wander through something that was founded before the (supposed) birth of Christ. I can't wrap my head around the fact that Brits and Europeans take castles for granted. We have to fork over loads of money and travel to Disney World to see one!
Day 3: Swindon- Slap my ass and call me Shirley...everyone is drinking COFFEE here now. What a change from last time (I 
used to temporarily reside in the UK a lot with wrestling tours), when England used to be a nation of tea lovers. America's influence has sneakily seeped in, from a Starbucks on many corners, to ads talking about "lawyers" instead of "solicitors"...to fitness conventions. I could see how much England had changed in just five years even if they deny it. After getting up and sitting on the bike for a while, I met up with my friend Simon and we wandered around Swindon most of the day. Upon returning to chez Scottish, I learned that Rachel, my Irish buddy from AWR whom I'd referred to do the convention with me, had missed her flight out of Dublin. Not at all surprised, since she's a bit famous for being late.
The flight she did catch was delayed and we were starving, so Jo and I hit a pub near the local airport which was in the middle of nowhere. When Jo said was "pub food", I groaned. Bar food in the USA is lowest form of "food"...usually fried cheese sticks, fried chicken fingers, French fries, burgers. Fat peoples grub. Not so in England, I learned. Pub food consists of ham steaks, vegetable pie, grass fed rib eye, free range eggs and organic ice cream...what the fuck? Free range and organic in a bar??? We in the USA are sooooo far behind at this point; I doubt we can ever catch up.
Rachel happily arrived with a big smile in one piece late that St Patrick's Day night, which was why she'd missed her flight. Ireland's streets were blocked with parades and beer...who'dathunk the Irish would use a holiday (any holiday!!) to take to the streets and drink? ;) I'd always had fun with her on the AWR European Wrestling tours so I was glad she was joining us. She's strikingly pretty, witty, considerate and cheerful. Who better than that for a roommate?
Day 4: Swindon-London- Keep Calm and Have a Cupcake...
We were packed into a van like sardines on the long drive (thanks to traffic) to London. We actually hit so much traffic that it worked out beautifully for me as a kind-of tour with many photo taking opportunities. We drove past many of the major sites...Big Ben, Tower of London, Regent Street, Trafalgar Square...plus all those famous red double-decker buses and phone booths which provided a much needed splash of red color in the cold, rainy grey palette that London was on that day.
We got to the venue around 3 pm and the real work began. We had to assemble the giant two sided Extreme Nutrition booth...one side 
for supplements, the other for GASP and Better Bodies clothing. Rachel looked at me, smiled and shrugged, "Well, at least we're not putting a wrestling ring together."
We'd soon find out that this booth would take HOURS to assemble...in a venue with wide open doors to accommodate trucks...without food, without heat. Naturally, this being England, all the food vendors left by 6pm. It was bone-chillingly cold and raw. Then there was a booth accident, where one side fell and broke...fuck me. Now, we really had to figure out how to rig this up without that piece. One of the other Extreme girls arrived early and didn't offer to help. Rachel and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes and snarled at her as our stomachs growled. Our fingers were freezing from Allen wrenching stubborn screws in and at one point, Rachel's hand looked frostbitten. She got a cup of hot water and had to keep her hand in it until the color and feeling came back. We got kicked out of the venue at the 10 pm closing time and still weren't done hanging all clothes and setting up banners. As we walked back to the hotel, Rachel stated, "We could have put 16 rings together..." "At least," I said.
Exhausted, starving and freezing, we headed got to the hotel...and still had to do our Birds of Paradise routine. Shower, shave, wash and dry hair, exfoliate, spray tan, paint nails. Sigh. Oh, and another huge nosebleed. We'd be up for a while.
See the Expo...go to Part 2...
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April Hunter
Professional Wrestler, Pinup Centerfold & National Figure Athlete
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